As parents, we naturally want to help our children succeed. That instinct doesn’t suddenly disappear once they become adults. In fact, many parents continue providing financial support long after their children have moved out, graduated college, or started families of their own.

Whether it’s helping with a down payment, covering unexpected expenses, paying for a grandchild’s activities, or simply wanting to make life a little easier for them, financial support often comes from a place of love.

But an important question every parent should ask is: At what point does helping become harmful?

Financial Support Isn’t Inherently Bad

Providing financial assistance to adult children can be incredibly meaningful. Many families help with:

• College expenses or student loans
• First home purchases
• Childcare costs
• Medical expenses
• Emergency situations
• Major life transitions, such as job loss or divorce

These types of support can provide stability and opportunities that may otherwise be difficult to achieve.

The key isn’t whether you help—it’s whether you’re helping in a way that aligns with your own financial well-being.

Don’t Sacrifice Your Retirement

One of the most common mistakes we see is parents jeopardizing their retirement security to support their adult children.

Unlike your children, you generally can’t borrow money for retirement. There are loans for education, mortgages for homes, and various ways younger adults can rebuild financially. But there is no retirement loan.

If helping your children means:

• Delaying retirement
• Taking on unnecessary debt
• Dipping into retirement accounts
• Forgoing your own healthcare needs
• Constantly feeling financial stress

…it may be time to reevaluate the arrangement.

Helping your children should never come at the expense of your own long-term security.

Consider the Difference Between Helping and Enabling

Sometimes financial assistance provides temporary support during a difficult season of life. Other times, it unintentionally creates dependency.

Before writing a check, consider asking yourself:

• Is this a one-time need or an ongoing pattern?
• Am I helping solve a problem or simply delaying it?
• Is my child taking steps toward financial independence?
• Can I afford this without negatively impacting my future?

These questions aren’t meant to discourage generosity. They’re meant to ensure that your support is intentional and sustainable.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Money can be an emotional topic, especially within families. Having clear expectations can prevent misunderstandings and resentment.

Some parents find it helpful to establish boundaries such as:

• Setting a specific amount they’re comfortable giving
• Determining whether assistance is a gift or a loan
• Limiting support to certain circumstances
• Creating timelines for temporary financial help
• Offering guidance and planning assistance in addition to money

Boundaries aren’t a sign that you care less. Often, they allow you to help more effectively.

Remember: Your Financial Plan Includes You, Too

Many parents derive great joy from helping their children and grandchildren. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to provide support.

The goal is simply to do so thoughtfully.

Your retirement years should be about enjoying the life you’ve worked so hard to build—not worrying that you’ve given away too much or sacrificed your own security.

Financial planning often involves balancing two meaningful priorities: supporting the people you love while also helping protect your own future. The right answer looks different for every family, but having a plan can help ensure that generosity and your financial future can coexist.

Philip Lockwood | Founder + Managing Partner

Address | 1501 Ingersoll Ave. Suite 201 Des Moines, IA 50309 Phone | 515-274-8006

Email | Plockwood@parklandrep.com Website | Lockwood Financial Strategies  Securities offered through Parkland Securities, LLC, member FINRA (FINRA.org) and SIPC (SIPC.org). Investment Advisory services offered through SPC, a Registered Investment Advisor. Lockwood Financial Strategies, LLC is independent of Parkland Securities, LLC and SPC Securities offered through Parkland Securities, LLC, member FINRA/SIPC.